Behavior Modification just like behavior management & Anger Management is a misnomer. Humans, as you would expect, resist being modified or managed. People are just like springs: the harder you push the harder they resist. The more correct approach would be Self Modification as a forum in a Manualized Cognitive Restructuring Workbook. Cognitive Restructuring if performed correctly has the ability to dig deep and adjust flawed thinking errors and self defeating behaviors. The following story is an illustration of a cognitive restructuring text.
Amy was incessantly afraid of Cord. She couldn’t do right around him. He had strong muscles and if he ever he lost his temper in furious anger, his arm was a lethal weapon that might slay her in one hit. Her 128 pound body was very little defense.
Amy came between him and his sexual fantasies and yearning for different women. He would therefore incite in her the behavior that he didn’t like in order to justify his actions towards her. He had fooled himself into believing that everything was her fault. He was always concentrating on her inadequecies while the truth was that she was a loyal, smart, educated woman and nurturing mother.
Amy joined a plethora of other women and men trapped in the fog of maltreatment, twilight existence of fright, anxiety and bewilderment. Different from assault by an unfamiliar person, tough cords of attachment and subconscious programming keep the abused infinately connected to the abuser in an everlasting ritual of violence.
Domestic violence is a disease that is, it’s embedded in a person’s life. It produces many symptoms but, unless the disorder itself is removed, the symptoms will persist.
1. What are a few of the symptoms or signs of domestic violence? _____________________________
2. Why is domestic violence more emotionally painful than violence by someone you don’t know? ___________________________
3. How did Amy overcome her disease? ____________________________________________________________
4. What occurs when her and women similar to her dont permanently cut the ties through full separation but stay attached to their abuser? ___________________________________________________________
5. Cutting the ties can be very frightening and it can hurt a lot. Why should we avoid judging people who linger in abusive relationships? __________________________________
Those who are abused need encouragement and support, not derision. T or F?
6. How should you sever the strong emotional ties of a disastrous marriage? ________________________________________
VALIDATION
To really comprehend the abyss of domestic violence, one must first comprehend the high that one gets through interdependency, where both partners get their hierarchy of emotional and physical needs satisfied. Fulfilling one’s Hierarchy of Physical needs which are: air, water, food, clothes, housing is not difficult, but satisfying ones emotional needs is a different question. Please take the following test:
On a scale from 1-5, rate your marriage in the last two years.
Need to be loved - I felt a deep love from my partner; I was not alone.
Need to be validated I was encouraged and praised by my partner. He/She made me feel like a good person.
Need to be affirmed My partner made me feel important; I made a difference in his/her life.
Need to be understood My partner listened to me; What I said was comprehended.
Need to be appreciated - My partner appreciated what I did for him/her.
Need to be secure I had a home; I felt safe and secure in my environment.
Total=
Excellent: 3-24
Problem: 23-17
Harmful: 16-6
7. What did you score? ____ Which bracket did you fall into? _________ What does this mean? Does anything need to change?_______________